Girl, get up!
The only person in your way is you.
No one can make you insecure without your consent.
Let me explain that.
If someone says the sky is green, you know that’s bullshit. You look up, the sky is blue. You look back at them and wonder if they’re feeling alright.
Now how does this apply to your identity?
If you truly KNOW who you are, you’ll have an unwavering confidence that nobody else can shake, no matter what they say or do.
But if someone’s sharp words can trigger you, even just a tiny bit, you are the problem.
Want to know why?
Because you believe them!!!
There’s a shameful, jeering voice in your head saying: “You know what, Sally? Becky’s right — you have got a bit of an attitude problem! And that’s embarrassing!”
(Speaking from the truest experience, and with the utmost love!!!)
You get the gist!
It’s the way if you’ve ever been complimented on your appearance, while looking in the mirror and seeing the most hideous creature in the world, no amount of praise and validation can change that. Because you won’t believe it.
Therefore, the only person in control of your identity is you.
Let me repeat that.
The only person. In control. Of your. Identity. IS. YOU!!!
Got it? Good.
And this works both ways. Positively, negatively.
If you truly believe with unwavering certainty that you are meant for the best things in life, no one else’s doubts or fearful limits can shake you.
If you truly believe grace radiates from every inch of your skin, every corner of your body glows with majestic beauty, no digs or jibes from insecure people will ever make you feel like the ugly one.
If you truly believe you are inherently worthy and valuable, that you are special and amazing and strong and lovable and deserving of the best things in the world, no amount of rejections or disapproval will change that.
And if you truly believe something to be true, no disagreements will cloud your judgement.
No one’s projections, good or bad, will move you. Unless you believe them.
That’s the kind of power you have!!!
So, no, it is not your fault that you’re insecure. Someone else put that in your head. But yes, it IS your fault Rachel’s quip about your hair turned into a full-blown midlife crisis on your dye decisions over the last thirty years.
SHE said; “Yeah, Sally, babe, I just don’t think that colour compliments you as well as your natural hair did.”
And YOU heard; “Yeah, I can’t lie, Sally, you look absolutely hideous and disgusting and your hair is a trainwreck, this is why no one wants to date you.”
And your brain couldn’t tell the difference between her seemingly-harmless comment and those unbearable years in high school where you were bullied relentlessly for your appearance.
Do you get it now?
The only person in your way is you.
And luckily for you, you have the power to rewrite the script!
You have always had the power.
© Zia Barti, 2025. All rights reserved.
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